I am me. Messy hair. Skinny legs. Strange mind. I am just me. And I love me. I love that I love me. It has taken me a long time to love the skin I’m in and to be comfortable with my body. I love being me.
Recently, someone in my family made me feel not so good about being me. If just for a moment. I occasionally post pictures of me in my two-piece bathing suit, either by the pool or on the beach. I don’t do it often. But I feel comfortable doing so because I am comfortable in my own skin. It’s not every day I am loving the way my body looks. I think it’s important to post that picture of yourself in your bathing suit for the world to see. That’s a way to show people you love yourself. Everyone wears bathing suits. So yes, I sometimes post a picture of myself in mine.
This person in my family said that creeps would look at this photo, along with the others. And that it’s not a wise choice. And that even guys who like “those pictures” shouldn’t be affiliated with her family, so I had to delete pictures of her family on my Instagram. The thing about this, is that I love this person. I care tremendously about this person. And for them to think of me in this way hurt more than I can say in words. If it had been a random stranger or someone I didn’t care about or love, I would have been able to brush it off no problem. But since that wasn’t the case, it struck a nerve.
It almost made my depression spiral out of control and for a moment I didn’t want to be alive. I didn’t want to feel anything. I wanted to be nothing. I wanted to leave. Because I thought they’d be better off without me. But the truth is, I did nothing wrong. And her opinion of me is her opinion. I know my heart. God knows my heart. I love myself. And some people don’t understand that. Some people have opnions that differ greatly from yours and there’s nothing you can do about it.
I love this person. But they were wrong about me. They were wrong in how they approached me, especially seeing as I have depression that is most of the time very unpredictable. I almost need a “handle with care” sticker on my forehead at all times. But I am strong. And I know what kind of person I am. And you should never make someone feel bad about themselves for posting a bathingsuit picture.