To The One I Thought Loved Me.

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I thought you loved me. I loved you. It was only going to grow but you stopped it in it’s tracks. You didn’t love me at all. You let me down over and over again. Each time with a different excuse. I drove 2 hours to come see you. You told me that you loved me and talked about our pretend future. You couldn’t keep your hands off of me. Told me you didn’t think you’d like me this much. I went home and thought that maybe this time was different. Maybe things have changed and you would actually stay this time.

But you’re the same. You are incapable of being a man and keeping your word. You decided to leave again. You are running away. Just like you always do when things start to get real. You get scared and make up a phony excuse every single time. Maybe you even trick yourself into thinking your excuse in real because you don’t want to think that you could be scared to really, truly love me. The way that I deserve. Because you aren’t man enough.

I’ve only ever been there for you. I’ve defended you when I shouldn’t have. I drove two fucking hours just to see you. I let you disappoint me time and time again just for you to let me down over and over. I have given you countless second chances. I have only ever loved you. You almost had me fooled again. I was so close to giving in and letting my guard down for you. Again. You were so close. I was so close. You almost did it. But not this time.

I can’t believe I let you even ALMOST fool me. You take and take and then you leave without batting an eyelash. There is no next time for you. I’m leaving your island and I’m taking my heart with me. I’m not coming back. Once I’m done, I’m done. I’ve always held out hope that you’d change and become the man I needed but that hope was diminished for the last time. I have no more second chances left for you. I’m letting you go.

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